My Daughter And My Boobs

I am trying really hard to be a good mother. Today was parents’ evening for my little one. As I looked very tired, I put a little bit of make-up on, didn’t wear any jeans (for once) and was expecting the same old bland comments. Usually, I am told ”Your daughter is fine” over and over again. I sometimes wonder whether they can say anything else. Let me put it his way: if they tell you that things are not well, you had better worry. My younger one is seven now and barely knows her two timetable, but apparently I mustn’t worry, everything is fine.  I am trying to listen and to behave, and to ask some intelligent questions. And I am also thinking that I will have to get more involved to speed up the learning of the timetables otherwise she might start the 7 timetable when she is 20.

But I am afraid that all my efforts didn’t pay off today. It was a bit weird actually: everybody seemed to recognise me despite the fact that I am quite discreet and definitively not one of those neurotic mums who talk to the teachers every day. I was wondering why they were all smiling at me. Well, I found out a few minutes later, when my daughter’s teacher showed me a little paragraph that she had written on what her parents liked. I am pleased to say that, according to my daughter, I like to hug and kiss her (fair enough). The most contentious one was on my husband. Here is how it was phrased:

“ My Dad likes my Mum’s boobs and rugby... He also likes to work and to watch crazy movies…”

What…What..what… How embarrassing! I didn’t know what to say and blushed. She found it extremely funny and said that the paper wouldn’t make the school board. Obviously. I had to apologise for my daughter’s words.

The teacher was laughing her head off when she showed the paper to me and the parents who were queuing up to speak to her didn’t understand what was happening. Apparently all the school staff was aware and everybody told me that my darling Daughter was very lively (very indeed) and has a level of maturity beyond her age (I bet. Where on earth did I go wrong?). I feel like I am now a celebrity because of my boobs and obviously, even if I am a bit flattered, I also find it extremely embarrassing.

To top it up, I explained the whole thing to my husband who found it spot-on AND very funny. Kids don’t lie, he said.  But he doesn’t want to show his face at the school any more. Lovely.

I also want to add that I maintained my composure and politely tried to discuss timetables instead of this incident, but with limited success only.

So tell me: what did I do wrong?