Wednesday, 21 March 2012

My Daughter And My Boobs



I am trying really hard to be a good mother. Today was parents’ evening for my little one. As I looked very tired, I put a little bit of make-up on, didn’t wear any jeans (for once) and was expecting the same old bland comments. Usually, I am told ”Your daughter is fine” over and over again. I sometimes wonder whether they can say anything else. Let me put it his way: if they tell you that things are not well, you had better worry. My younger one is seven now and barely knows her two timetable, but apparently I mustn’t worry, everything is fine.  I am trying to listen and to behave, and to ask some intelligent questions. And I am also thinking that I will have to get more involved to speed up the learning of the timetables otherwise she might start the 7 timetable when she is 20.


But I am afraid that all my efforts didn’t pay off today. It was a bit weird actually: everybody seemed to recognise me despite the fact that I am quite discreet and definitively not one of those neurotic mums who talk to the teachers every day. I was wondering why they were all smiling at me. Well, I found out a few minutes later, when my daughter’s teacher showed me a little paragraph that she had written on what her parents liked. I am pleased to say that, according to my daughter, I like to hug and kiss her (fair enough). The most contentious one was on my husband. Here is how it was phrased:
“ My Dad likes my Mum’s boobs and rugby... He also likes to work and to watch crazy movies…”

What…What..what… How embarrassing! I didn’t know what to say and blushed. She found it extremely funny and said that the paper wouldn’t make the school board. Obviously. I had to apologise for my daughter’s words.

The teacher was laughing her head off when she showed the paper to me and the parents who were queuing up to speak to her didn’t understand what was happening. Apparently all the school staff was aware and everybody told me that my darling Daughter was very lively (very indeed) and has a level of maturity beyond her age (I bet. Where on earth did I go wrong?). I feel like I am now a celebrity because of my boobs and obviously, even if I am a bit flattered, I also find it extremely embarrassing.
To top it up, I explained the whole thing to my husband who found it spot-on AND very funny. Kids don’t lie, he said.  But he doesn’t want to show his face at the school any more. Lovely.

I also want to add that I maintained my composure and politely tried to discuss timetables instead of this incident, but with limited success only.
So tell me: what did I do wrong?

40 comments:

  1. Nothing wrong here, Muriel, I loved your post! And I wish my daughter would have written something similar at your daughter's age. It seems your family is very sane and happy.

    But next time I would fake some illness and send you husband to the next PTO!

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    1. I will take some convincing to send my husband. I might have to pretend I am really sick! As for my daughter, she is indeed a very happy kid!

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    2. I guess your daughter gets her honesty from her own mother. Love the way you open up and share your stories, even those that many American women would be embarrassed to tell. Good for your daughter.

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  2. It IS funny. To quote an old American TV show "kids will say the darnedest things."

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    1. They will indeed. I think that I am being punished for something I did in another life!

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    1. It will probably make me laugh in the long run. In the short term, maybe I should dye my hair blonde. What do you think?

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  4. You can never tell when they're listening and what they pick up, until they say (write) something you wish they hadn't! Your daughter sounds very with it!

    By the way, if you want her to improve her tables, there are loads of websites that give practice using games.

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    1. She is indeed very with it. As for the tables, I am on the case. She will learn them -time to put back a bit of hard work and discipline in this household! :-)

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  5. Nothing. You simply gave birth.

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    1. I did indeed...who would have thought that it would be such a journey!

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  6. I imagine how embarrassed you felt, but I think your daughter is just one of a kind, spontaneous and she just wrote what sounded natural to her.
    Nothing wrong Muriel - whatever education you give, you can't control everything.
    Take care and next time send your husband!

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    1. She is indeed one of a kind. I am not sure what we are going to do with her!

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  7. Really. Boys what are they like!

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  8. Haha! You should have explained that your daughter wrote the letter "b" wrong when it should have been a "k". You are such an intellectual that your husband adores your booKs! Still, too late now!

    By the way -I suggest you teach her those 2 time tables ! And see if she knows the alphabet too. It beats me why schools don't bother with this basic stuff, some daft educational theories I think. English schools are not rigorous enough in my view, if your child is smart....

    oh, and come to think of it you could also have told the teachers angrily that you are very concerned that she is not yet able to tell the difference between B and K - they would all be so scared then of you that they would never dare to laugh at your boobs again :D

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  9. You probably didn't wear a shirt low cut enough to get the teacher's attention....

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  10. Here's to hugs, kissing and boobs!!! ;)

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  11. Kids just speak their mind! And yes, they will say anything; apparently screening does take a long time - we as adults say things we "are not supposed to!"..take it easy; years later you will look upon this as a big joke and your daughter will be the one who will be embarrassed that you guys still remember it!

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  12. Very smart girl! she obviously knows exactly what goes on around her! XX

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  13. No comment

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  14. Next time you will attend Parents' meeting my dear...

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  15. She does indeed. I wonder how she did it!

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  16. I am sure that I will see the funny side...eventually! At this point in time I feel a bit like my education is not disciplined enough!

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  17. Thanks, Stuart! I can't help thinking that I did something wrong!

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  18. It was a she, Marie, I don't think that it would have made any difference whatsoever. That said, I might be wrong!

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  19. I will take some convincing to send my husband. I might have to pretend I am really sick! As for my daughter, she is indeed a very happy kid!

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  20. I did indeed...who would have thought that it would be such a journey!

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  21. She is indeed very with it. As for the tables, I am on the case. She will learn them -time to put back a bit of hard work and discipline in this household! :-)

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  22. She is indeed very with it. As for the tables, I am on the case. She will learn them -time to put back a bit of hard work and discipline in this household! :-)

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  23. She is indeed one of a kind. As for sending mu husband, it will not be easy...

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  24. I have to break it to you, there was a little drawing to explain what she meant and it wasn't books -I just wish...Sigh. As for the timetables, I am shocked -my daughter is wasting her time and her potential where she is.
    I am working on the case...

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  25. It will probably make me laugh in the long run. In the short term, maybe I should dye my hair blonde. What do you think?
    My husband has told me that he won't show his face at the school any more. Ah, where are men when we need them?

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  26. Indeed. I think that I am being punished for something I did in another life...

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  27. They will indeed. So tell me: what did I do wrong?

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  28. Omigosh, that is funny! You didn't do anything wrong, I say you did it right. Your family life would stink ior at least be a little odd if your husband didn't like your boobs....
    :)

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  29. Jpage Manuel2 April 2012 09:06

    Hilarious! But I can understand how mortified you must have been. What I'm curious about is what your daughter saw that made her conclude that Daddy likes Mommy's boobs! hahahahahahha!!! ;-)))

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  30. Aww, I died laughing! I missed so much while my laptop was being dysfunctional. I'm catching up now. Somehow the song "I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus" is running through my head, and it is so inappropriately timed as it is Holy Week!

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  31. I honestly have no idea...apparently, it is common knowledge. I can't believe it!

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  32. Glad you enjoyed it. I am mortified! I was trying so hard to be a good mum. Well, it didn't pay off...

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  33. Cheer up Muriel...it could be worse. Your husband could like some other woman's boobs better. And your daughter would have shared THAT. :D I just love what kids say... :D

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