Saturday, 19 November 2011

My Incursion Into WAGland


WAG: is an acronym, used particularly by the British tabloid press, to describe the wives and girlfriends of high-profile footballers

My daughter had an occasional day of holiday on Friday. This is because the year 6 girls are starting the 11+ exams and had the computer-based tests at her school. I am so glad that we have passed this phase...(see here to understand how traumatised I was about the whole thing). We therefore decided to have a nice breakfast in a coffee shop close to Sloane Road. We had never tried it before and were looking forward to it.

We sat down and after a while a reluctant server came to take our order. You will be pleased to know that the croissants were nice.
Then, 5 minutes later, a well-known footballer came in with his latest squeeze (if even I know him, he must be really famous - I tend to prefer rugby, I like men to be men, not pretty boys). She had high heels, a mini skirt and was fully made up (as in plaster on the face) at 8 am.
The happy couple was swiftly served and started snogging shamelessly. Lovely.


It was only the start. Another WAG-look-alike entered, with huge sunglasses, track suit bottoms and high heels came in and sat with her boyfriend.

My daughter and me were under the impression that we were not quite fitting in. This was confirmed by the fact that we were joined at our table by a blonde russian-speaking lady. She was middle-aged, skinny, and her facial expression was impossible to read. It was, well, frozen. My well-informed daughter muttered "Botox" to me and as usual she was spot-on.

We quickly paid and left. A last glance at the window confirmed that the footballer and his WAG were still kissing -a relationship that survives breakfast is probably a serious one  in such a world!

Let's just say that I don't think we will come back. Or if we do, I need to invest in higher heels.

22 comments:

  1. Another London adventure - I love these anecdotes and observations.

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  2. I've had romances where we can't stop kissing at the breakfast table.

    I just always made sure said breakfast table is IN MY HOUSE. Extreme PDAs (handholding & some kissing is okay, IMO) are uncomfortable for all observers.

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  3. Sounds like my sort of breakfast place! Is croissant French for crumpet?>

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  4. I definitely understand especially that I was there in the action of the snogging over coffee adventure. It was a very... romantic breakfast, I should say.

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  5. lOL, so you didn't enjoy breakfast? come on,who cares about this couple, you were the star there :)

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  6. I hate going to a place and feel like crap after, like I don't / didn't fit in for some silly reason. Don't forget the giant sunglasses next time to go with your heels! ;-))

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  7. Muriel, you're hot, like real life hot, not all fakey hot... as a friend, just wanted to tell you. So, keep it up, and only buy the heels if you want to! :)
    Oh! And thanks for the new word, snogging... hadn't heard that before!

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  8. I didn't like this scenario at all Muriel, simply because your service was slow whilst that of the footballers and their eye candy was not. I would definitely have complained about this because that's how I roll and would have wanted my daughter to see it's not O.K. for a store to do that (they do it far more in England than here and will sometimes serve adults before children, even if the children were there first.) My daughter would have been mortified of course and tried to get me out of there, but I would have made my point first. You and your daughter and bright and beautiful on the inside and the outside and I'm sure have more intelligence in your little fingers than all the eye candy put together!

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  9. P.S. I would also have commented loudly to my daughter (loudly enough so it could be heard by all and sundry) it was extremely crass and in poor taste to be so intimate in a public situation like this. Usually people who behave so do it for attention!

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  10. Gotto love Chelsea. Haha. I am so bad at celebrities spotting - I never click and tend to ask people if we've met before. Cue major embarrassment on all sides... :-)

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  11. Wow...I would go back for the free entertainment and to take pictures and maybe even video so I could show my friends and we could all laugh together...

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  12. @ Thom - Thanks. It is impossible to get bored in London!

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  13. @ Beverly - You are right. But somehow no-one told them anything!

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  14. @ DC - I just think that some places might be ghettos for super-rich people...

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  15. @ Miss Agie - Where does this maturity of yours come from?

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  16. @ Miss Lego - Thank you thank you...such a shame no-one saw it!!

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  17. @ Joy - You are right. I need new sunglasses. Even if it is winter!

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  18. @ stacey - Thanks girl. Maybe I should sell their story to the tabloids?

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  19. @ Elizabeth - ou see, this is England. Everyone pretends they don't see a thing. My daughter kept staring at them. I think that they got the point. Eventually. this guy is some sort of a semi god over here (not for me, of course...)

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  20. @ Metropolitan Mum - I know. the thing is, I don't know half of the celebrities nowadays. My daughter has to fill me in!

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  21. @ Marie - I should have taken a picture. It would probably have made me richer!

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  22. I thought I was tired of seeing their pics in the tabloids... well, you people have to see them "everyday"! :)

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